HUB's LIST of medical fun facts

The three COVID vaccines developed in an amazingly short time is really a tremendous success story, particularly for vaccine manufacturer stock holders. Eager to cash in on that success several other pharmaceutical companies are poised to release a veritable flood of new vaccines. Here is a selection of the most promising products, at least to the early investor.

YuriVax
Not to be confused with a Russian vaccine, the name of this vaccine stands for Your Upper Respiratory Infection, the common cold. Scientists at the University of Glasgow in Scotland (part of the British Isles which is famous for extensive research into the causes of colds) just reported that they have found that the presence of a virus that causes the common cold appears to interfere somewhat with the replication of the COVID virus in human cells. This research was built on previous findings in France and at Yale that some kinds of cold viruses and flu viruses “tended to avoid each other”, first noticed by epidemiologists during the 2008 flu epidemic. Current researchers suspect that the usual “interferon response” caused by the cold virus blocks the cell invasion and replication of the flu virus. Whether or not this is also true for the COVID virus is unknown. The YuriVax does have the side effect of giving you cold symptoms. The researchers emphasized that “existing vaccinations are far more certain ways to avoid both COVID and the flu.” (Snopes rates this information as true.)

RhinoVax
The Astra-Zeneca COVID vaccine uses a simple cold virus, an adenovirus, rather than the mRNA protein in Moderna and Pfizer vaccines to carry the spike antigen particles into host cells to generate an antibody response. Adenoviruses are frequent causes of simple colds, but the adenovirus “messenger” in the A-Z vaccine does not cause cold symptoms. A another new vaccine modeled after the A-Z vaccine uses another cold virus, a rhinovirus (causes rhinorrhea – a runny nose), as the vaccine messenger.. The Scottish manufacturer, KiltedKleenex Ltd , spent little time and money researching the best marketing name for the vaccine. The image of the charging rhinoceros was a slam dunk with its ad department. “Hoot Mon!!” rather than “Eureka!” was the operative phrase, I believe. (Snopes rates this information as currently very questionable.)

NoVaxVax
This all-natural vaccine with absolutely no trace of foreign protein was developed with generous support from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, anxious to counter the rumors that its previous support of vaccines with microchips caused some vaccine hesitancy. The vaccine ingredients include nitrogen, oxygen, carbon dioxide, water vapor, and trace amounts of argon, methane, helium, krypton, and xenon, – all normal chemicals found in air. Early clinical trials were paused when a bit of carbon particulates where found in early samples, but this was corrected by moving the manufacturing plant out of Pittsburg to North Dakota where the air is cleaner. The manufacturer of this vaccine hopes that it will remove a lot of the social stigma and finger pointing experienced by the anti-vaxxers.  They can receive the injection in public, get a sticker, and proclaim proudly “I got my shot“.  The manufacturer of NoVaxVax has said, “It is the kind of market niche that has not been fully exploited with this group”.  (Snopes rates this information as true, but can’t quite believe it.)

COVID-22vax
Also called the NeXvaX, this vaccine against the emerging variants of COVID-19  is being developed in large part by Russian scientists (unaffiliated with CzarvaX) previously working in China, but who have defected to the U.S. President Biden’s administration has endorsed them and their work, “Just remember how fast we developed American rocket science after World War II when we recruited all those German scientists.” Dr. Fauci is hopeful that this important new vaccine effort will continue despite the “erroneous conspiracy theories that have sprung up about it.” (Snopes was not allowed by NSA or the CIA to investigate this information)

Once the market potentials of the COVID-19 vaccines became clear, the corporate enthusiasm for vaccine profit margins was so great and federal money for vaccine development so plentiful, so a Pandora’s box of non-COVID vaccines blew open. Again, here is a selection of two of the more promising new products:

CDvax
Sometimes mislabeled as an anti-Alzheimer’s vaccine, this vaccine that triggers antibodies against cognitive decline (CD) is about to start clinical trials in selected nursing homes in New Zealand and Australia. (Previous plans to do this in New York state were dropped for unknown, recent reasons) This vaccine is particularly timely since recent studies show that brain exercises like word scramble and crossword puzzles do NOT prevent or delay CD, despite current “common wisdom”. There is insufficient data on the effect on Scrabble or Sudoko players. It is not clear as to what offending antigens are being attacked by the CDvax antibodies, but the American Heart Association has just trumped the American Neurology Association by stating that the best prevention of CD is good genetics (“pick your parents well”) and “what ever is good for your heart, is good for your brain; exercise, healthy eating, no smoking, and no obesity.”  (Snopes rates this as a mix of fact and fiction.)

T****vaX (Pronounced as “StarsvaX”, or even as “CzarvaX”)
This vaccine, developed secretly by a Northeast U.S. and California collaboration, is composed mostly of RNA snippets from both Obamas with a few additions from direct descendants of Abe Lincoln. It reduces intentional falsehoods by 90%, but has some interesting side-effects: increased facial hair, tall stature, and frequent, unexpected pauses in one’s speech pattern. The persistence of its antibodies are unknown, and the next test period will be in 2022. Some T****vaX detractors think that its effect by 2024 will be close to nil. (Snopes rates this as fake news.)

BeBeRebozosisVax
Bebesiosis, a fairly rare disease that closely mimics Lyme disease and can also be transmitted by a tick bite. is the target of this vaccine. I  encountered a case of babesiosis early in my career and had trouble remembering its name until I recalled Richard Nixon’s buddy and alleged Watergate bagman, Bebe Rebozo . I have never forgotten the name of that disease since. Efforts to develop a vaccine against Lyme have not proved too fruitful, but the announcement of the beginning of clinical trials of BeBeRebozosisVax is very heartening. It means that we may be seeing the light at the end of the Lyme vaccine tunnel, but as we have said before, “Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel means that we are STILL in the tunnel” !

Snopes says “continue to stay safe”, and HAPPY APRIL  FOOLS  DAY!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 31st, 2021 at 7:50 PM and is filed under April Fools Issue, coronavirus, current events, humor, Infectious Disease, vaccinations. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.